I hope you‘re winning your silent battles
(via mermaidswearlipstick)
2022
I genuinely have no idea how to describe this year, it’s like nothing yet everything happened. It’s been a bittersweet year. I think this has been a solid year of being alone. And dealing with a different kind of heartbreak has made me realised that I need to focus a lot more on myself. And maybe that’ll be next years goal. So here’s to a happy year ahead and a better version of myself.
I’ve been thinking a lot about you Audrey. Spending so much time with the team has just brought these feelings back up. I’m having the shittest sleep. Maybe the guilt is back. I was speaking to Raz and I told her how I wished you stuck around just a little longer so you could’ve experienced these times with us and maybe then you wouldn’t have left us. She told me her therapist said you had probably made up your mind by then and nothing would’ve changed your mind. But what if it wasn’t? What if I just did something different? Or said something else? I know I shouldn’t be going down this rabbit hole but fuck I thought this would get easier over time.
